Wha? I'm too young for this! The shock of a BC diagnosis at 31

There are no two ways about it. Cancer sucks. It is ugly. It is scary. And it feels isolating. But this I know. It can be beat.

I have no family history and I found the "lump" myself. It was more like a flat movable stone actually. A perfect "skipping rock" so to speak. I thought it must be a fibroid because a) I am too young b) No one in my family has ever had breast cancer and c) I have always taken good care of myself and hardly ever even get a cold!

Much to my unpleasant surprise and chagrin, I am told at my mammo/sono appointment that the radiologist is 99.9% certain that what he sees is cancer, but will need to confirm it with a fine needle biopsy. The room spins and I feel sick. I am alone at the appointment as I was so certain it was "nothing" that I did not ask for my fiance or a friend to accompany me to the appointment. The radiologist sees my face turn white and is oddly comforting. I feel as if I've known him for years.

Today is July 2, 2001. The radiologist says they are booked tomorrow, but will squeeze me in. Wants to get me in ASAP before the July 4th holiday. I am NOT feeling the BBQ, the sun, the sand and the long bus trip to get out to the Hamptons for the festivities. I am seeing fireworks however. The explosive kind. The kind that jolt and scare you. Sneak up on you from behind.

Having made my biopsy appointment, I call my fiance and tell him that I am dizzy and feel sick. He tells me to get into a cab and come home. I can't believe this is happening. Today will change my life forever. But I'll be damned if I let this get me. I will face this head-on. I will not crumble.