Loss during the holidays


Loss encompasses many things, especially in 2020- loss of school and jobs, family events, social interactions, choice and lives. Kids miss the routines they would complain about, school they 'hated', and even the annoying kid on the bus. They have lost milestone events and impromptu opportunities. Helping to keep their interest, engagement and hopes alive takes a bit of effort and creative thinking.

Keeping a routine at home is an obvious choice. What needs to be included is at least 20 minutes of outdoor sunshine for our brain to regulate itself and ask your child what they would like to contribute to the 'schedule'. Add in some regular exercise- a walk in the neighborhood with a friend on the other side of the street, interactive videos, learning yoga or boxing online. Get creative with all of the boxes from the online orders. Have the family design a fort, boat, miniature car or marble track, doll house and use markers, paints, stickers, colorful tape to add the final touches. Have each family member decide whats for dinner on a specific day where they get to help make the dinner. And pizza is only once or twice a month!

For the tougher loss of a family member or friend, keep them included by setting a place for them at the holiday table; write them a note; decorate a box with symbols, colors, words that are special to your person to keep notes in; make their favorite food. Bedtime is often the toughest, when the activity of the day fades away. Having a ritual of saying goodnight or sharing an event of the day keeps the person present in the child's life. 

Remember to take account of all that we do have, what we are still able to do and fully enjoy the moment we are in, as it is what we have and can make the most of.